I have recently turned 19 years old. Compared to others, I am young, although i am convinced I have lived quite a long time already.
This is the section of life where there are SO many ups and downs. Friends come close. Friends betray other friends and friends are lost. For the past year, I have slowly kept further and further out of contact with one of my best friends. And recently, things have gotten clearer. He is not what he was. He has lied and has betrayed me and my close friends. But i do not become angry, only sad. Sad that a man, who was once strong and quite close to me is now far from me, weak, and has lost the motivation which kept him moving before.
I have lost a friend.
And this is not the first time. Infact most people I was once close with in my life, I am not close with anyone. It is sad, but it is the truth.
The truth is that people love eachother, and then later on, make the choice to not love them. They say, "i don't have time". It is sad, but the truth.
Was i being cynical..? yes. Now i am going to be optimistic.
When I went to college, I got very poor grades. So poor, the idea of returning is out of the question now. Although, in my experience of moving to a different area, an unfamiliar area and living, I learned more than i have ever learned before. Not about american history, or how exactly to find X. Something, to me, much more vital. I learned many things about life. Social skills, People skills, Nature Skills...
I think it is pathetic that certain people make the choice NOT to hand down the things they've learned to younger generations. This is why i write.
From September to October, I lived at this place called Badger Creek. These 6 weeks were (so far) the best 6 weeks of my life. It was located at the base of the Teton Mountain Range in Idaho on the border of Wyoming. Rolling meadows and hills, and by the creek were patches of pine trees. The roads were dirt and most of the driveways led to abandoned houses. This place had no internet, no cell phone reception, and the closest town was Driggs, about 10 miles away.
The owner of the Ranch was a great man. He always pulled stories out of his sleeve leaving us all jaw-dropped. His name was Brian Ashton. He had a wife and two kids and a dog and they were happier than any other family i had seen. Most of his stories mixed illegal things with love and fate all ending with a pleasant present. He was older, but treated us like friends his own age. One lesson he told me and my friends stood out in particular.
I've forget the context of what he said, but i could not possibly forget how he said it. He did not have a low-pitched voice, but a strong voice nonetheless that peirced your ears and punched your heart with honesty leaving you bittersweet and smiling in truth. He'd say, "You guys are acting like kids! It's totally fine if you want to joke around, but stop joking TO and about other kids. Joke with them. We are friends here, come on". That has stuck with me to this day.
He would never say too much, it was always short and sweet. Quite sweet that his voice would keep replaying in your head for years and years to come.
And from today on, my plans are to learn. To learn from my experiences as well as other's experiences. They could be just as valuable as our own if we look at it so. Every year, we need to renew ourselves and come to terms with our heads. Forgot what our thoughts tell us about reality, and let reality tell us about reality.
Which is why i am going into the real world to visualize reality at it's finest...
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